At the last Impact meeting we started our series Defeating Darkness. To start this off we went through 1 John 1:5-10, which says the following:

5 This is the message we have heard from him and proclaim to you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all. 6 If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. 7 But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin. 8 If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. 9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 10 If we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.

When looking to apply this to our lives a few things stood out to me.
First, we need to be accountable. In our own lives there are things that we are trying to do in our walk with God, whether it be being consistent with reading the Bible or a sin we are trying to stop. But as humans, and I know this is something that I struggle with personally, is asking a fellow believer for help. As Christians we are all trying to serve God to our best abilities, but we end up trying to do it ourselves. I found myself asking, “why am I trying to do this myself?” I have God to help and I have fellow Christians to keep me accountable.

Going along with being accountable, we need to also make it a habit to confess our sins. Doing this will make it harder for us to dwell on them and make it easy to break those bad habits. Andrew made a good point in his last message about how we need to confess our sins out loud. We need to actually say them out loud and be specific about them. Doing this takes those sins that we hide from others and hide within ourselves and brings them into the light. This is something that is really hard for me to do but is something that really helped me break old habits. Knowing that I would have to confess verbally what I did forced me to break old habits and replace them with habits that pleased God.

When confessing our sins, we need to confess them to other Christians that we trust enough that we can be completely honest with them. Doing this will give us someone else that can keep us accountable. We also need to confess our sins to God, we are doing this all for him. Verse nine says that if we confess our sins he WILL forgive us. We have to actively confess our sins, this is not something that we can be passive about.

Another thing that we need to do, myself included, is to not make reading God's word an afterthought. I personally find myself waking up and going through YouTube, Netflix, Snapchat, and other apps before I open up my Bible to read Gods word. We need to make this something that we want to do, not something that we do just to check a box and say that we did it. In my personal experience I find that having someone that can keep me accountable helps tremendously.

Fourth and finally we need to pray. We live our lives for God, so why would we not want to talk to him? He is there for us constantly, with the best advice. When he have a hard time or a problem we go to a friend or family member before we talk to God. Why is this?

No matter what we do, God will forgive us, and he always there to talk to.

Andrew Caes, Freshman at IUPUI

College has always been a time of change. You graduate high school feeling on top of the world and then all of a sudden you are thrust back into unknown, unfamiliar territory. For some, this transition is overwhelming and can induce a downward spiral. For others, it is the perfect opportunity to grow in God’s image. While the choice seems obvious, it is often not. For me, college proved to be an unlikely time to find my faith.

October 23, 2017 is a day I will forever remember. I sat in the crowd at West Park Christian Church listening to one of Andrew’s sermons just like I do every month. However, this day was different. I watched as my peers took their own leap of faith and got baptized and tears streamed down my face. For years, I had yearned for the sense of belonging, for true unforgiving love. For even longer, I ignored the call of God. But on this night, I decided once and for all that I wanted more. I wanted to be just like them.

Peter replied, “Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. The promise is for you and your children and all who are far off- for all whom the Lord our God will call. - Acts 2: 38-39

But my journey with faith did not start here. In fact it started many many years ago. Like many of you, my journey with faith technically began as a kid. Every Sunday, my mom dressed my brothers and I in our Sunday best and we headed off to Sunday School and service. However when I was growing up, faith was a difficult concept for me to grasp. Although I sat in church for years, I was only there because mom dragged me out of bed. I definitely did not lead a Christian lifestyle, nor did I really even know what it meant to be a Christian. There were times when I yearned for something more and would attempt to turn to God, but it never quite stuck for me.

In high school, I really hit rock bottom. On the outside, I had it all together. I was the salutatorian and an active member of the student body, but on the inside I was crying out for help. I went to a school where the halls were filled with thousands of people, but I had never felt more alone in my life. I tried to fill the void with anything and everything. But as you can imagine, this life of sin only further distanced me from happiness. As Zack Inman would say, the hole in my heart was God sized, I just didn’t know it yet.

Create in me a clean heart. O God. Renew a loyal spirit within me. - Psalm 51:10

I came to college with the same mentality. Months went by and nothing changed. However, I branched outside of my comfort zone and started talking to new people and attempting to establish genuine friendships. Lucky for me, it just so happens that everyone new I met happened to be a Christian. As I spent time with them, I couldn’t help but notice that something was so vastly different about them. I could see that they were genuinely happy, upbeat people, and I knew that I wanted to be surrounded by this positive energy. After long and careful consideration, I finally came to the conclusion that they were all different because of Christ’s light within them. I knew that I wanted to be more like them. At the time, it didn’t feel possible to make the change because I was so lost that there was no way I could ever find my way back. Instead of trying to find my way, I became lost in a new way, lost in Him.

Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. - 2 Timothy 2:22

Eventually, I went to my first Impact night of worship, more or less I was dragged by my new friends like I used to be dragged to Sunday school by my mom. However, that night the message was about wanting to know God and ever since then I’ve been at every night of worship. Impact ignited in me a fire to serve the Lord. This semester I joined a life group and have really enjoyed growing with the same people who inspired me to do so in the first place. I have never felt more loved and more accepted by a group of people in my life.

I found faith at an unlikely time, in an unlikely place, in unlikely people. I used to think that God would call out to me in some grand way. I used to think the only way he’d get His word to me was by sending me a message I could not ignore. Instead I have found that God does not always give us blatant messages, instead he gives us each other.

On December 2nd, 2017, I took my own leap of faith and was baptized. This was just an outward proclamation of a change that has already happened in my heart.

For the first time in my life, I’m in. All in. And I’m never looking back.

Since we believe that Christ died for all, we also believe that we have all died to our old life. He died for everyone so that those who receive his new life will no longer live for themselves. Instead, they will live for Christ, who died and was raised for them.

So we have stopped evaluating others from a human point of view. At one time we thought of Christ merely a human point of view. How differently we know him now!

This means that anyone who belongs to Christ is a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun! - 2 Corinthians 5: 14b-17

Liz Drummond, Student in Impact

FINALLY. The semester is over, we can breathe, and we’re away from all things that give us stress.

Or are we?

Throughout the semester, we studied the life of David through the writings of Samuel. We heard the good, bad, and ugly – stories of developing valuable friendships, giving in to temptations, and covering up mistakes with lies and desperate attempts to save face.

We tend to go through life thinking that if we just pass this one thing, everything else will be smooth sailing. Just reach the next checkpoint, the next difficult task. Or if we can cover up that one thing, all will be fine! But this isn’t how life works. We are guaranteed to face more and more challenges and consequences for our actions until we leave Earth.

But this shouldn’t be discouraging.

This would be discouraging if we didn’t have a Savior. But since Jesus has given himself to each of us as a gift, we are armed with more than we could ever ask for. Consider this: we cannot hide from our problems, as much as we think we can. God lays things on our hearts that we never expect him to. We cannot grow without addressing things that we struggle with. David learned this the hard way when he tried to cover up his adultery by getting Uriah to come home and sleep with his wife so it would seem that Bathsheba’s pregnancy was because of her husband, Uriah.

David gets through his life by being vulnerable and singing God’s praises.

Psalm 34 – I will bless the Lord at all times; his praise shall continually be in my mouth. My soul makes its boast in the Lord; let the humble hear and be glad. Oh, magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt his name together! I sought the Lord, and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed.

On surface level, this Psalm may seem (among others) that it was exclaimed when everything was going well. David’s life was broken, just like all of ours, but if we are real with ourselves and our Savior, we have all the tools we need to embrace our failures instead of hiding from them.

Another important thing to remember is that being vulnerable does not just involve being real with those around you – it involves being real with yourself, too. As said in Lamentations 3:40, “Let us test and examine our ways, and return to the Lord!”

David’s struggle was raw and his story was human. He was nowhere near perfect, as none of us are expected to be. The most stimulating part of David’s story was not the list of his wrongdoings, but his reliance on God in all situations. This is how we show resilience. Consider the role Jesus can play in your lives as you reflect on your semester and go into the new year, embracing your own humanity and loving others fully as a direct result. Here’s to a refreshing start to 2018 with Jesus right by our sides.

Haley Welch, Impact Student President

I came home from my first day of college, my head throbbing with ache and my mind whirling as it tried to process the new environment I was diving into headfirst.

What I had been aware of for years and had been told time and time again was finally sinking in and becoming concrete reality. You’ve probably heard it, too: being a Christian in a secular school is not easy.   

I was well aware that there would be challenges going into school at IUPUI. I had received many warnings that my faith would be tested and that I would have to stand strong. I thought I was ready -- I have a strong relationship with my church family, I currently live at home with my immediate family there for support and I had made a point of looking into Christian organizations at IUPUI.

However, I was in for culture shock. I am still trying to adjust to this new stage of life, which is especially hard coming from a Christian homeschool environment. I praise the Lord that His Spirit resides in me and is sensitive to the false worldviews and the sin surrounding me. His Spirit keeps me alert and not tempted to conform to some of the harsh realities in the world. However, being the sinful human that I am, my initial reaction is to be angry and discouraged by what I see and hear from unbelievers, rather than hurt for their lost hearts and engage with them in order to further the gospel.

No matter the case, we could so easily be living in sin just like those we encounter each and every day; and in fact, prior to being saved, we were!  Ephesians 2:1-3 says,

“And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience -- among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind.”

The only difference between those around us and the sin in which they live and the marked joy and love we have as Christ-followers is God’s Grace, not anything we could ever do: 

“But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ -- by grace you have been saved -- and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.  For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast” (Ephesians 2:4-9).

Therefore, rather than disengaging and running away from the worldliness around us or conforming to it, we should aim to share this everlasting joy with others so that they can experience the freedom and forgiveness available to them in Christ’s atoning sacrifice!

So as I continue to journey through this new stage of life and trust God to make me more like Him in the process (Romans 8:28-29), I can have confidence in knowing that He always has and always will continue to provide me with the people, strength, and confidence I need to grow in my faith and share the gospel with others.

Praise God for providing brothers and sisters in Christ through the local churches and through organizations like Impact with whom I can live a glorious life with. We all strive to set an example to the world of what the gospel can do, so let’s do it together!

“But I do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course and the ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God.” (Acts 20:24)

Rachel Winkler, IUPUI Freshman

I vividly remember it; waking up to the first day without school. I had just finished my sophomore year of high school and I had big goals for my summer. A stack of books beside my bed represented my academic aspirations, the jump rope and chin-up bar showed my desire to earn the starting power forward spot and the phone was my key to endless hours of fun with friends. It was going to be an AMAZING summer.

95 days later I woke up to a blaring alarm which loudly proclaimed summer was over and school had started again. My stack of great literature and poetry lay by my bed relatively untouched. The jump rope and chin-up bar had seen small amounts of use. The plans with friends had failed to take into account the fact that I had no car or license. Don’t get me wrong, I had a great summer. I got to sleep in, eat great food, play lots of games, enjoy vacations, got the starting position and spent some time with friends. Yet, it was not as epic as it could have been.

Now why am I telling you this story of my sophomore summer? Because far too often I find myself daily replaying this story in my spiritual walk. It has great moments where God reveals His character to me. Times when I step out in faith and those early morning prayer times where His presence is so real. And yet, it also has a lot of unread moments, chin-up bars which didn’t seem worth the effort and wasted opportunities for connection.

For years 2 Corinthians 5 has been a central passage in my life and recently it has become a vision and a prayer for how I want to live my life. Verse 14 starts out, “For the love of Christ controls us, because we have concluded this: that one has died for all, therefore all have died; 15 and he died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised.”

How cool is that?! Imagine living in such a way that the love of Christ literally CONTROLS me to no longer live for myself but for others? I can imagine the true freedom, hope, and security which comes with a life so radically and daily transformed by Christ.

Paul continues in verse 17, “ Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation.[b] The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. 18 All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; 19 that is, in Christ God was reconciling[c] the world to himself.”

Paul is telling the church that Christ’s love should control them to live for others so that in God and through God they might become a new creation. This is God’s vision for everyone who proclaims the name of Christ! It is a beautiful picture of growth.

I am a firm believer that mere humans do not have the power to mess up God’s plan of our lives. However, the decisions and actions we make every day certainly have the ability to hinder us from experiencing the full beauty of the story God is weaving through our lives.

In reading this passage I began to realize that I had been spiritually treading water. Or as Paul describes it, finding nourishment in milk when I should be moving on to the meat.

But this is where it got difficult. It is one thing to have a vision and a totally different thing to do something about it. I have a very real vision of dunking on all my friends and yet the reality of jump rope is a very different story. This is where motivation comes into play.

Motivation is the word of my summer. It has the idea of drive or purpose. It is the propeller which pushes someone forward.

So, what is the motivation to follow after God’s story with reckless abandon?

LOVE.

Take a look back at the 2 Corinthians passage, “For the love of Christ controls us.” Now substitute the word 'control' with 'motivates', “for the love of Christ motivates us.” Christians should be so in love with Christ and God that the mere thought of missing out on one iota of the beauty of God’s amazing story and settle for a good story motivates them to continue transforming into a new creation.

I gain this kind of love by gazing in wonder at a sunset, conversing deeper with people about life, choosing to smile instead of grumble at the early mornings, hearing the deep laughter of friendship, worshipping in church, reading the Word, and most of all, when considering Christ ultimate sacrifice, to redeem my worthless brokenness.

It’s not easy and I can’t say I do it perfectly or even well. However, it is my prayer that Christ’s love would motivate me to pursue transformation in such a way that people would describe me like King David was once described, “Behold David the son of Jesses is a man of valor, a man of (strength), prudent in speech and a man of good presence, and the Lord is (clearly) with him.” - 1 Samuel 16:18

Ryan Fraser, Impact at IUPUI VP of Fellowship

In my first post that was published on March 26, I explained how making organization a priority and finding a support group will help you reach your goals in college. I’ll now describe two more habits that have helped me succeed not only in this semester but throughout my entire time in college.   

(3) Persevere through hardships

And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28)

In the past five years or so, I’ve come to realize Romans 8 is one of the most profound chapters of the Bible. After Paul gives both a beautiful description of what will happen to the cosmos at Jesus’ second coming and an explanation of how the Spirit intercedes for us, Paul shows us that everything that happens to us, whether it’s good or bad, ultimately happens for a good reason.

            Perhaps the most difficult subject for me during my years at Ivy Tech was mathematics. Even before I entered college, I knew that subject would probably be one of the greatest academic challenges I would face. When I took my first Intermediate Algebra class, I struggled to follow my professor’s explanations of all the problems we worked on. I stayed up in the early hours of the morning every week to work on the practice problems we were given. Yet my confusion remained. Even though my professor in that course told me I was his best student, probably because I was the only one who came to class every time we met, I failed that course and decided to tackle it again sometime in the future.

When I attempted to take that course a second time, the new professor I had was so cold and unapproachable I was afraid to ask him any questions. I struggled in that course as well, and to avoid getting another poor grade, I dropped it. By this time, I was extremely depressed. I feared I would never pass my math course, despite the fact that I had prayed to God again and again to help me.

When I had a meeting with the transfer advisor at Ivy Tech, she, to my frustration, told me Intermediate Algebra was no longer required, and I had to take a course called Finite Mathematics. In that course I, again, struggled to understand the mathematical concepts I was learning. This time I knew I had to make an effort to get as much help as I could. Thus, I went to the tutoring center. But I wasn't able to get the help I needed, and I dropped that course as well.

After several semesters of taking other courses, I made one last attempt to tackle Finite Mathematics. Before I took it, I kneeled to God in prayer and begged Him to help me succeed, and He responded.

The professor I had in this course streamlined the material we were learning because, as I had discovered myself, much of what we were studying in our math textbooks wasn’t even on our tests. This made the course material much easier to grasp. In addition, one of my younger brothers, who is much better at math than I am, was also taking this course, and he acted as my tutor throughout the semester.

My struggles in my math courses were God’s way of telling me that I needed to save mathematics for a later time in my life at Ivy Tech. By postponing my math course, I was able to take it at a time when an exceptional professor was teaching it and when my mathematically inclined brother was taking the same course at the same time I was. Even though it took me several years to pass my math course, by God’s grace, and with my brother and professor’s help, I was finally able to pass it.

(4) Remain faithful to God

 If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, you will ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you. (John 15:7)

In this passage, Jesus, before He suffered His crucifixion, told His apostles that if they remained in Him and let His words live in them, they would be able to ask God for anything and they will receive it. Before I entered college, I knew I had to keep God in the forefront of my life. I knew that if I abandoned Him, He would abandon me, and I wouldn’t excel in my courses.

Yet even though I prayed to God every day, my academic struggles tempted me to think that God was indifferent to me. Why is God taking me down the road I’m going? What is God trying to teach me? Is He preparing me for a mission He wants me to fulfill in the future? These are questions I’ve asked myself for years, yet I still don’t have the answers.

Nevertheless, I didn’t let my inability to understand what God is doing in my life influence me to turn my back on Him. I continued to pray to Him. I continued to show Him how thankful I am to Him for saving me from my sins by assembling with His children to worship Him every Sunday. And I continued to study His captivating word. I believe that because I remained faithful to God in these ways God blessed me with success in most of my courses.

In conclusion, only you know what path God wants you to travel in college. Yet organizing yourself, seeking help and encouragement from a support group, enduring hardships, and staying loyal to God are just a few ways that will surely help you reach your destination at the end of that path.

Jacob Stubbs, Guest Writer, Student at IUPUI

I’m almost there. Praise God, I’m almost there! After years of reading textbooks, taking tests, writing essays, listening to lectures, talking with advisors, and interacting with students from all over the world, I’ll finally be able to experience the joy of graduating from college. It’s been a long journey. I began my part-time college education at Ivy Tech in the fall semester of 2007 and then transferred to IUPUI spring 2014. Through my years of schooling, I’ve developed simple strategies that have helped me excel in college, and I want to share four of them with you. I call these ‘habits’ because they’re actions you must get used to repeating in every course. 

In this first blog post, I’ll share two of them, and in my next post, I’ll share the other two. These habits, if developed, will not only help you perform well in your courses, but will also help you fulfill Impact’s mission of spreading God’s kingdom by pursuing God, modeling his teachings, and teaching others about His glory.

Habit #1: Make Organization a Priority

Let all things be done decently and in order. (1 Corinthians 14:40)

Though the above verse from the book of Corinthians is focusing on organization in Christian assemblies, one truth about God can be gleaned from it: God values order. God never works haphazardly. Even when human free will is factored into God’s providence, everything happens according to His divine will. God is organized, and because He made us in His image, He expects us to be organized as well.

There were several ways I got and remained organized throughout my time in college. I set up a consistent time to study. I found a place, usually my room or a break room at my job site, where I could study without much distraction. I tried to get most of my assignments done as early as I could. And whenever I was overwhelmed with a large number of assignments, I made detailed lists of tasks I needed to complete and followed that list closely.

As I did all of this, I balanced my part-time college life with a full-time evening job at the Eli Lilly Technology Center. I did this by choosing classes that took place in the mornings. To complete my assignments on time, I would devote at least three hours on days that I didn’t have class to completing the assignments I had to complete each week. On the weekends, I devoted Saturday mornings, sometimes Saturday evenings, and Sunday evenings to completing assignments. By organizing my life this way for the many years I’ve been in college, I’ve been able to excel in nearly all of my courses.

Habit #2: Find a support group

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10)

This passage shows us the importance of having companions to help us through the difficulties of life. I can’t begin to explain the importance of having a support group in college. It’s nearly impossible to go through something as challenging as college alone. Just as the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit never accomplish anything on their own, so too will you never accomplish anything in college on your own. We have families, friends, and churches who can provide us with encouragement and advice. If, God forbid, we don’t have any of these, we have an entire campus of men and women who are eager to encourage, advise, and befriend us. Impact itself serves this purpose.

During my years in college, my family has served as my primary support group. Yet among all of my family members, my mother has been my greatest source of encouragement. From helping me realize that I shouldn’t compare myself to other students to simply listening to me talk about what goes on in my classes, she’s helped me remain optimistic through the most difficult courses I’ve had in college.

By making organization a priority, you will reflect God’s own orderliness and show your classmates that you value the education with which God is blessing you. By finding and interacting with a support group, especially one like Impact, you’ll reflect God’s triune character by reaching your goals not on your own but within a community. The light of Christ that you shine through your orderliness and through the strong friendships you have with your family, friends, church, or those on campus can be attractive to those who don’t share your faith. You can use the light they see in you to attract them to Christ.  

In my next post, I’ll discuss how persevering through hardships and remaining faithful to God are two other ways you can excel in college.

Jacob Stubbs, Guest Writer, IUPUI Student

As we were going through James 2: 14-26, we talked a lot about faith and good deeds. This topic comes up a lot across all denominations and faiths. It is what often times differentiates us into these subgroups that typically keep us all divided. Some groups believe that, in order to get into Heaven, you have to act out the part. Others believe that all you need is faith and belief in Jesus Christ. In this passage, we see that both are required pieces to the puzzle. With this information, the question goes from “Do good deeds save?” to “How do good deeds and my faith intertwine?”  Now, I want to focus on that last verse- “As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds is dead.” (James 2:26, NIV).

I’m going to get a little science-y and medical here, so bear with me. In some translations, the word used is breath or air instead of spirit. To keep up with this analogy, we have to understand how the body and air go together. Yes, we all know that we need air to live, but there is something more than that. Oxygen is used by the body to perform every single thing including cell respiration, thinking, and movement. In other words, air propels the body to move forward.

Quality of life (in healthcare) is the satisfaction that a person gets from how they are living in their present circumstances. Since air is what makes the body move and work, it is also responsible for how well we can live our lives. Impaired oxygenation and perfusion (getting air to the rest of the body), such as COPD or heart failure, is survivable, but it alters the quality of life the person has. I promise, I am going somewhere with this.

Now back to the new question posed at the beginning. The answer lies within all of this medical, science-y soup. We were taught in grade school English about comparisons (this is to this as that is to that), which is exactly what we see in this verse. The body is equivalent to faith and air is equivalent to deeds. Following this logic, faith needs deeds to propel it forward, just as the body needs air to do the same. The quality of faith can be seen through the deeds that we do. Without the deeds, we have an altered quality of faith.

What do we do with this information? How does this change how we live our lives? After having this revelation in Life Group, I came to the realization that I personally needed to change my outlook on life and my actions. I challenge you to stop thinking of how good deeds can get you into Heaven, and start thinking of how they can better your faith and your relationship with God. As an added bonus, try living out your faith and see just how much of a difference it makes in your everyday life.

All the best,

Candice Elkins, Member of Impact at IUPUI

P.S. Don’t get disappointed when things don’t immediately change. These things take time and effort, and we are imperfect beings. Remember, you are not alone in this and with God all things are possible.

It’s Valentine’s Day and tis the season of love, right? That word “love” is misused so often in our generation. It’s tossed back and forth to describe certain bursts of emotions in an instant, rather than describing the actions of our lives. Love is not a noun, it’s a verb. It’s an action that we may or may not always understand. The greatest act of love that I will never fully comprehend is when Jesus died for me.

John 15:13 (NLT) says…

“There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” 

Proverbs 18:24 (NIV) says…

“One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” (Referencing Jesus being the closet friend we have.)

Putting these two verses together… we have a friend, who knows us better than anybody else. This friend (Jesus) laid down his life for us, showing the greatest form of love that there is. Let’s notice the diction in the first verse. John uses the phrase “lay down one’s life.” In order to “lay down” your life, you have to purposefully give it up. I have never witnessed someone who accidently laid down their life! Jesus purposefully laid down his life for you and I, so that we could experience the greatest form of love for eternity. Many people refer to Christianity as just some religion. I’m here to tell you that it’s not about religion. It’s about a relationship with Jesus Christ, the one who did/does/and will forever love you more than any girl/guy ever could.

Some of you may be single, and some of you may be in the dating realm of life. Regardless of which category you fall into, God has a plan for your personal relationships. He lays out the model for how all this looks in His word very clearly!

Gentlemen: Having a girl by your side, hanging all over you, and blowing in your ear 24/7 does NOT make you a man. What makes you a real man is treating women with the upmost respect. A real man knows how to hold the door open for a lady. Being a real man is to go against the status quo of society and not degrade women with words, but rather build them up in edification and encouragement. To treat them like the precious jewels that they are. Men, in looking for that “special someone” we need to look for the qualities that God looks for in us. Proverbs 31 describes what a virtuous woman looks like. The word virtuous means “righteous” or “to walk upright.”  That’s what we need to pursue fellas. 

Ladies: Stop chasing after guys who obviously don’t have your best interest in mind. If they continually pressure you into situations that make you feel uncomfortable, then it’s time to move on. The bible says that we are to live pure and that oh so scary word “holy.” What does that word “holy” actually mean? The Greek translation of the word holy is “hagios” (hag'-ee-os) which essentially means “To be different” or “Set apart.”

John 17:16 (ESV) says…

“They are not of the world, just as I am not of the world.”

We are in the world, but we’re not of the world. People are supposed to notice something different about us. You can’t be “set apart” if you’re not different.

Dating: If you are dating someone, I assume it is because you are searching for the one whom you’d like to eventually marry. If that is not the case, then why are you even dating? The most important thing whenever it comes to dating is this…God first. If God is not the top priority for both of you, the relationship will more than likely dissipate.

This pyramid is a good illustration of a relationship road map. The closer that you and the other person get to God, the closer you will get to each other. It is as simple as that. The cool thing about this picture is that it can describe any relationship (family, friends, etc.). In dating it is also important to be pure. Just to throw a bone in right here, premarital sex is a sin (Y’all thought this was a “rated PG” blog). The world will try and convince you that it’s not, and as a matter of fact, they will try to encourage you to do so in your dating relationship. If that girl/guy tries to convince you that love is having sex, that is a lie. That is not love; that is lust. Don’t get those two words confused ladies and gentlemen.

Romans 12:2 (ESV) says…

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”

Here are some tips to help keep you stable while pursuing a relationship within Gods boundaries…

Tips:

1.)   Never put yourself in a situation to be tempted

-        If you give Satan an inch, he’ll take five miles.

-        Never be alone with a guy/girl in his or her apartment.

2.)   Know that God’s timing is better than ours.

-        We live in a microwave society, where we can have pizza rolls in 45 seconds. As you may have already discovered, relationships are not pizza rolls! Don’t rush into any relationship. Wait on God, because in the end it’ll be worth it.

3.)   Have a special prayer time with that special someone

-        Set apart a special time throughout the week to prayer WITH that special someone, or pray FOR that special someone (You can do this if you’re single, too!)

4.)   Try “Group Dating”

-        If you feel like you struggle being one on one with a girl/guy, try going out in groups with mutual friends.

One last thing:

 1 John 4:8 (NIV) says…

 “Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.”

If you use the phrase “I’m in love with someone” and if God is love, you’re essentially saying “I’m in God with someone”. That phrase alone not only describes the content of your #RelationshipStatus, but also the status of our lives.

Colossians 3:3 (ESV) says…

“For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God.”

To be in Christ is to pursue those things which are pure and holy and righteous. I’ll never claim to have life figured out, but know that God has a plan for your life. Know that his timing is better than our timing. Know that God is in control of every situation, and rest in that. Know that His love is the greatest Valentine’s Day gift we could ever receive.

Be #Blessed!

John Sidwell, VP of Outreach, Impact Christian Fellowship at IUPUI