Not Alone | Abigail Kemiel
I wanted to start this off by clarifying I am not a professional writer; I’m just a regular student wanting to share my story with anyone willing to listen.
When I think about the past year, I think about how many leaps I’ve made. During those times, whether I could see the end or not, I was not alone. I was anything but alone.
Coming to IUPUI was the biggest leap I’ve had to take so far. I graduated from La Porte High School in 2020 during one of the largest pandemics this world has ever seen. I remember that day in June, where we all sat socially distanced apart on the track. I was one of 423 students. Just another gown in the crowd. When my name was called, I felt that moment- where suddenly 13 years of hard work meant something. Everything that I had known in high school, everything I spent time on, and everything I did came to an end just like that. When they said high school goes by fast, I didn’t think they meant it. I spent the summer with my head down, when i left for school in the fall, IUPUI was a fresh start, at least I thought. IUPUI was a fresh start, at least I thought. I still brought a part of La Porte with me. What that meant for me was a damaged relationship with God, a work-in-progress self-image, and all the new fears that came with being on my own.
For the first time in my life, I was on my own in a brand new city in college. I came to study exercise science with the confidence that I wanted to be a physical therapist. I knew where I wanted to go. As soon as the first day rolled around, I started doubting my abilities in and out of the classroom. I was struggling to find my footing, to make friends, and studying for the tests that really mattered.
However, I found comfort in CSF. The day I went with a new friend to meet all those wonderful people that make up CSF, I was intimidated to say the least. I had never been a part of any kind of youth group in my past, let alone a bible study. Still, I knew God led me there that day for a reason. In the park, I saw the overall joy of people willing to share the message of God. I couldn’t help but smile. Joining my life group was a first step in the right direction. Going to my life group every week, I heard the stories and advice from people I trusted in a group that gave me direction. I heard the things I needed to on the days that seemed so low. As the year progressed, as I tripped and failed, God lifted me up and gave me the opportunities that I needed. He opened the door for the places I needed to go and the people I needed to meet. Throughout this past year, there were a few people that left my life and even left me in a whirlwind of emotions. Even as I faced challenges with those relationships, I prayed to understand God’s plans for myself. For all the things I wanted, I still did not know what I needed. I needed to work on my mental health, myself, and my relationship with God. That meant giving time for what really mattered- friends, family, and God.
A scripture I come back to is from John 14:27, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.”
From this past year, I have had my fair share of trouble. I have found focusing on the present every day, makes the difference. I cannot guarantee my future, but I am working every day to not be afraid of the changes. To all things new, I know God has put them in my path for a reason. To whoever I was in high school, I wish her the best. I am not afraid to keep growing and changing as I get older. I am learning to not question the lessons I have gone through, but to learn from them. The ultimate goal for me, and for all Christians, is to find peace in the eternal afterlife with the Lord. There are many things I do not know, but I know I am willing to wait for that peace.