Soul Trouble
Day 142: John 12:20-50
'“Now is my soul troubled. And what shall I say? ‘Father, save me from this hour’? But for this purpose I have come to this hour. Father, glorify your name.” Then a voice came from heaven: “I have glorified it, and I will glorify it again.”' - John 12:27-28 ESV
Many (if not all) of us have struggled at some point with extreme anxiety or depression. When I've experienced them, it seems to have been brought on by either a moment that seemed too big for me or through regret of a mistake.
John records that Jesus' soul (literally: life) was troubled. The word he uses for troubled is tarassō, which can also be translated as "disturbed" or "to cause a riot." Ever felt like there was a riot going on inside of you? The following quote is so helpful:
"Jesus is saying more than that he is emotionally troubled. He is saying that the very core of his human person is naturally resistant to the coming pain and death. This is a spiritual battle, a battle between survivalistic instincts God has purposely built into humans, and the course of obedience that calls Jesus to the cross." - Bryant/Krause
It is wild to think that committing to see our life's purpose being to glorify God can help settle our souls, reducing anxiety, allowing us to take a deep, confident breath.
May we hear the Father's voice to us as well. If it was enough for Jesus to make it to and through the experience of the cross, it will also be all we'll need to face whatever seems insurmountable.
Father, glorify Your name!