Several years ago I was asked to sing with my mom and sister at a wedding for a family member of ours. We are a very musically inclined family, so this was an exciting experience for us to share. She gave us the song, “It Takes Three”, which I had never even heard of before reading the lyrics. I googled the song to listen to how it’s supposed to sound and the first link said “THE BEST WEDDING SONG!!!” So after listening to it for the first time, it sounded a lot like a cheesy 90s love ballad mixed with an old school Baptist hymn sang by the choir. I can still remember the words today:
“It’s not just what we feel, It’s a precious gift, It’s sent from up above
So with Christ the love grows more and more until the final day
So with our love we celebrate the One Who gave His life away”
At the time when I sang this song, I was much younger and at a different stage in my life. These words did not stand out to me because I had no romantic connection with somebody yet in my life. I was only in high school so what did I know about love?! I did know, however, about God’s love, and I knew I wanted to make that connection with someone through Christ Jesus someday.
Now that I am old enough to understand, I know that relationships are a lot of work. They can be incredible and amazing while at the same time be emotionally challenging and frustrating. Sometimes I believe that God genetically wired men and women very differently (LOL), but relationships are another one of God’s greatest gifts He gives us in this Earthly life. In Genesis, God made man and woman both in His image literally for the companionship of one another, to “Be fruitful and multiply” (Genesis 1:27-28). This was His gift from the very beginning of time.
Now I’m sure we have all experienced heartache from a breakup or a stressful event within a relationship. Maybe you and your boyfriend just broke up after a year and a half of dating. Maybe your girlfriend moved out-of-state and seems to be growing more distant as your time apart increases. These instances in our lives seem devastating at the moment, and if you’re like me, maybe in that moment of fear you were scratching your head, looking up at Jesus, saying, “God, I thought this was my plan!” Sometimes I like to pretend I know what God is doing in my life, and I try very hard to follow what I believe He is leading me to do. It is very difficult when it feels like He’s leading you into a dead end. Well, spoiler alert: God will never lead you down the wrong path. God is the path to the happiness you are searching for.
“But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.” 1 John 1:7
Having fellowship with one another should be something we strive for in both friendly relationships and romantic relationships. It really helps when you have similarities that can provide outlets for conversation, and conversation is a key element to a healthy relationship. The same thing goes for having a relationship with Jesus: the more you connect and converse with Jesus, the closer you will become to Him! Jesus can be just as tangible a friend as your significant other! Jesus gives us the perfect example of how to love one another on Earth.
I have been dating my boyfriend for four years now, and like any relationship, we have had our best and worst times. The best moments in our relationship are when we are both fully encompassing our lives with a focus around God and what we have to be thankful for. When I am praying every day for my relationship and appreciating the time we spend together, it’s as if we are back to the first time we met. I can remember those butterflies in my stomach from his small red sports car and his tall, masculine appearance. Another very important element was his Christian influence and background. He is a Christian, which is extremely attractive to another Christian like myself. I believe this is a key factor in our success over the last four years. Those we choose to make connections with should be strong positive influences in our lives, persuading us to be better people and walk more closely with God.
“We love each other because he loved us first.” 1 John 4:19
One of the most trying times for us has been this past spring semester. Josh has found an amazing company to work for, one with full health coverage, gym memberships, paid time off, minute commute, and so much more! This blessing has been great as a fresh-out-of-college position, but the company is located merely 4 hours away from Indianapolis. 4 hours away! My mind started to question things about our relationship from the very beginning; questions that made me turn to God for understanding. Why would God lead such a beautiful relationship into this type of challenge? Doesn’t God want us to be happy? My thoughts were often selfish as I looked at my own life and own situation. I didn’t have a new job, a new location, and a new life waiting for me to start. I was stuck, and I was not okay with that.
“’For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
Something I have learned over the past spring semester through being a Life Group Leader for Impact is that God can take literally any situation and make it a blessing in our lives. He can take a hardened heart and turn it soft, a broken heart and piece it back together. After helping Josh move into his apartment, his first concern was what church we could go to when I visited. (LIKE WHAT!?!) Church was a priority is his life, what a blessing! I am also continuously seeking God for companionship when I am feeling alone or separated from everyone else. I am praying and reading His Word more than ever before. This connection with God may not have come without the suffering, and I am comforted by that today.
It’s moments like these when I stop and realize how it truly does take three to be happily as one. Not every relationship is going to work, but if it is a God-given gift, it will touch your life in so many ways. God will NEVER leave you, and he will never forsake you (Deut. 31:6). That is why it takes three.
Sarah Fisher, Student in Impact at IUPUI